Being deaf

Life is difficult.

And some things make life even more difficult.

Being deaf is extremely difficult.

If you are anywhere, but especially at a party your brain knows all the people around you are talking and the brain constantly tries to 'hear' what is being said but due to deafness the input isn't available. 

Within an hour of being at a party I have a headache. Then I feel really tired, physically tired followed by irritability. Within an hour and half I have reached my breaking point. I need to go home. 

Then there is the social side - everyone around you is talking but you don't know what they are talking about. 

If I ask them to repeat what they said they become annoyed. After a few experiences I stopped asking. 

I don't bother to ask people to repeat what they said or join in conversations unless I am in a quiet-ish space with only one or two people.

Recently I went on a cruise. We were a party of nine and we sat together for meals most days. After a couple of days I was leaving the table early while everyone else sat and talked and laughed and had a ball. 

I couldn't hear what anyone was saying, even the people either side of me I had to ask them to repeat what they said. There was a lot of background noise. By the end of the cruise I was sitting at the table with eight other people and I was doing jigsaws on my iPhone. They all probably thought I was rude. They'd be wrong. I was bored, irritable and ignored. If you don't join in the conversation you get ignored, just like you are not there. 

One night I was asked if I was tired, I replied "No I am deaf."

I notice the body language between couples when one of them is "hard of hearing". The hearing partner is exasperated, irritated and sometimes just plain angry. When I talk with them I talk to the 'deaf' person and point out the physical effects of deafness (as above) and ask if they are aware of the frustration and anger their partner is experiencing. At some point, if they haven't run away screaming, I point out the body language of their partner. Watch the head. See them nodding when I make a point they particularly agree with. Watch how hard they nod when I explain the aggravation they experience. 

It isn't just couples. Adult children tell me of their frustration with Mum or Dad. They relate their children's frustration and misery when they try to talk with a deaf grandparent. 

Don't get a hearing aid unless you intend to wear it. It isn't fair to get a hearing aid and leave it in the drawer. Your brain takes two months to re-programme. You probably went deaf over some years and now you expect your brain to pick up where it left off back when you had perfect hearing. 

Don't put it on and expect everything to be 'normal'. Put the hearing aid in everyday, at home. People tell me they don't need it at home. They might not. But their family does. Wear it for a short period maybe an hour or two during a meal time or while watching TV. Partners and neighbours appreciate it when a deaf person gets a hearing aid.

I made the common mistake of having an in ear hearing aid - companies push the 'invisible' line. Well get over it. Some people really manage an in-ear aid well but my ears develop eczema from the aid sitting there all the time. So now I have over-the-ear aids. I really like people being able to see my aids. But mostly no one notices them even if I cut my hair really short. They are actually designed to be not noticed. 

Maybe I should try for fluoro ones. 

If someone sees I wear an aid they might get the idea I am deaf.  

Writing

Why write?
Why does everyone bother to write?

Is it the old keeping a diary thing?

Does it help keep you sane?

I guess in the olden days women (and men I suppose) who didn't have a friend or an outlet for
creativity might have chosen to keep a diary or write novels.

I used to write letters. I was fifteen when I started seeking out pen pals.

I also collected labels of wine companies. I used to write to companies around the world
and request copies of labels from their products. Just an excuse to write letters really.
I had to save up for the cost of the paper, envelopes and stamps.

I still have a collection of some of those labels. Somewhere.
I wonder if I could sell them on Ebay?

How many blogs are there out there on the internet?

"The man in the spa".

Good title for a blog I reckon.

Two of us were at a work conference and we went to the spa at the resort and there was a married
couple using the spa. He had a full time job with an aviation company but he had a blog.
He wrote about "medical" topics.
"You don't need to know about a topic. You don't need to know how to write." Very earnestly.
"You sign up with x company and pay $20 and you keep all the money you earn from commissions.
And you get your templates from y website and post everyday."

I still can't work out how he made money out of this but he was definitely trying to sign us  up.

Since I work for a company who copywrite this encounter was fairly amusing.
The phrase "the man in the spa" came up regularly in our planning meetings over the next two days.

Now I am writing a blog.
About nothing, just musing "on paper" I would have said in the not quite so olden days.