Children and Money

"Children need to learn about money. Children need to trust money."

These words were spoken to me by a friend when I shared my dilemma of how to manage a six year old who was stealing money from siblings.
The school canteen manager contacted me. She knew Six should not have a $20 note.
Six stole from an older sibling who had not noticed the money was missing. Yet.
On investigation Six had been taking small amounts for a few months.

To teach my children to manage their money I set up the pocket money (PM) system.
The rate was based on age and needs. There were rules.

1. Money paid fortnightly. Every fortnight. Without fail. (Trust)
2. No money was ever to be deducted from pocket money for misbehaviour. (Trust)
3. Pocket money was to be budgeted. (Managing)
     10% to a charity of choice
      30% to savings bank account
       60% discretionary spending

The needs of each age group were part of setting the rate.
Teenagers needed money for socialising  and some obligations.
Four year old received 50 cents per fortnight.
Fourteen year old received $20 (or was it $25.?)
Fourteen had youth nights, movies/activities, friends birthday gifts etc.
If it was discretionary activity PM was used. If obligatory then HK paid.
Four year old loved putting money in collection at church,
buying Mum presents or going to deli to buy lollies.
Fourteen had choices. Shopping with friends or buy that book?

Housekeeping (HK) paid for essentials - clothing, toiletries,
sanitary/shaving requirements but if someone wanted special or
fancy brand toiletry that was bought with pocket money.
Much negotiation was practised.
e.g. if HK paid $x for shampoo was that amount still paid and difference in cost from PM?

When McJobs were taken a family meeting decided 10% was equitable amount
to contribute to housekeeping. Four year old delivering junk mail
did not pay more, proportionately, than Maccas worker earning much more.

Interestingly, six year old stopped stealing.
Many years later when grandchild began shoplifting the PM system was initiated
shoplifting ceased.
Was the feeling of “control” satisfied?
Was it the serious but non emotional discussions regarding “yours, mine, ours”
or the learning curve of pay for what you want?

I learnt a valuable parenting lesson.
Children, “all grown up and saving China”*,
manage their budgets very well. Seemingly.
As an outsider looking in.


*  Disney’s Mulan 1998